Witness the Sky

Planets, stars, and the heavens offer ephemeral insight into the architecture of our known reality. This is their story.


September 3rd, 2014

// of Assistants

Under the Virgoan tone, I’ve come to note the importance of a friend by your side, managing your books and keeping numbers in order, no stone unturned. Granted, there are many stones atop the Earth, and “the virgin” is undaunted to face any appointed task, not yet tainted by the sting of experience and the depression that comes with growing up and facing the world. 

Why not, in the sign that precedes partnership, we are given the fullest extension of self through another without “the other?” Or, you yourself are providing service toward efforts that don’t immediately return gain, as it might seem on the surface. 

When couples separate or undergo divorce after decades of togetherness, it’s been told that one or the other feels as if a part of their brain has been removed. That other has been by their side, and they fall into place with each other, automatically filling voids and repairing weaknesses, for better or for worse, to act as a unit, ideally. If I hire an assistant, I’m asking that person to operate as a part of my brain, therefore freeing up room for me to explore various realms of psychedelia, conquer world governments, and create worlds of story that may not otherwise leave the crevices of the mind. A formal partner might hold too many rightfully unwarranted opinions. 

Yet, whom is providing the greater service? Aggrandizement aside, it’s those unselfish efforts that provide truer rewards, and that’s difficult to mirror in someone bent on world domination. 

// of Assistance

Today, the Sun in Virgo aspects Pluto in Capricorn, heightening any earthly  service or endeavors we humans caught in the wheel of fortune seek to engage. Virgo is a misunderstood archetype, because, I guess, no one wants to work? Or perhaps, it’s the menial shit we fear that could clog our free time. Leave that to the robots. 

Eventually, we’ll build some great robot army to mine gold from deep under the layers of the planet. Skin will no longer be judged by color but by substance and texture. And, what if these robots attain higher consciousness? Will they then invent lesser robots to do their bidding? When does the chain of slavery end? 

There’s always work to be done, and ask yourself what trivial delights you might relish on your way to that beloved higher calling. Everything is Shiva, even the black latex fence paint.

// of Assist Ants 

Lo, behold the white ant! Much can be learned from the greatest soldiers on the planet, as the operate under devout singularity. There is no straying from each individual task, as there is no need to be anything other than its function of service.

The greatest meditators, the ant is in constant unison with its reality, connected with surroundings though receiving instinctive messages on how to create, spread, and function with the greatest return for the hive. There is no mourning for death, because the white ant understands its place within the cycle of life.

As proclaimed “thinkers,” albeit adolescent, humans seek to unveil the curtain and do any number of what not to do, to the point of self-destruction. Why? To unmask the players? When the jig is up, then what? Often the seeker returns to his or her point of origin, and takes up once more the mantle of menials, because the only point of function is to function itself, and what better way to function than to live in the way that best describes you, therein bringing you dumb joy, separate from the game within the game that we have so crudely dubbed, “society.”

// of Ass is Dance

What better way to express the joys of stupidity than shaking what your mother gave you? Entirely specific forms of study have erupted from the basic desire to move, and posture, and fill that chemical form of ours with adrenaline and serotonin, perhaps gain the attention of another and proceed to unite immune systems to create yet another human with greater resilience to the ever-evolving bacteria consistently murdering us all. 

Yet again, we return to specific functions and particularly evolved form, attentive to details only the virgin could see. To the chaste, that ass is a sacred temple yet undiscovered. When Indiana Jones has visited his umpteenth ancient ruin, a certain grandeur is lost from the first. Perhaps he is a master archeologist, able to navigate and traverse puzzles and traps with ease, but he’ll never forget that first time, when he toppled through mostly on blind luck and somehow survived. Only a fool’s errand separated him from those scattered as bones in the spiky pits below him. 

Keep at it, don’t be afraid to look like an idiot or die trying, and you might become a better dancer. 

// of Asses-Tense

As signature movement grows as a form of expression, so we communicate and dance upon the page, language moving, flowing, poetry becoming a thing, and we again create, out of practice. And, astrologers argue Mercury’s relevance as the ruler of Virgo. 

In time, the great reluctance of effort will fold in on itself and the mountains will have no choice to erupt, perhaps then we will be gods ourselves and have the interest and ability to create new types of asses with which to stay fascinated. Upon realization that we, in fact, created ourselves, how appreciative we will be on the utter perfection of the braying ass. 

// of St. Francis of Assisi’s Taints

In what dimension do we place ourselves, when speaking of the past? There are as many histories as there are historians, and as we envision the future from the present, we change the past.

The great namesake of our current Pope had the loveliest Venus in late Virgo, no doubt giving him the enormous need to keep his genitals neat and trim, including the area between his balls and anus. Perhaps he hired an assistant to make sure he remained the cleanest for his services to God. Because God loves a fresh taint. Those who might dispute that claim, I only ask, why wouldn’t He?

Here is my St. Francis, the renowned receiver of stigmata, who no doubt felt the blood flow through and up his spine, achieving the orgasm of the sight of God through his service to the planet. Legend has it that he spoke to birds long before any Disney princess, and even convinced a wolf to stop eating people. These are all cool superpowers, but none compare to his dedication to poverty and the cleansing of material needs, walking the earth alongside her, as a friend. 

St. Francis was a humanitarian and environmentalist, inspired to assist and aid others of any kind, and the animals he saw as brothers and sisters. What greater service is there than to the planet underneath our feet?


June 21st, 2014

Happy Summer. Go splash some water on your face. Due to my last post having quite little to due with cosmic events, and keeping up with my general theme of aloof inconsistencies, this post is going to get its astrology on.

As the Sun entered Cancer around 7am this morning, great hallelujahs were heard all across winter-torn lands that had scarcely remembered what a cool breeze might feel like, or the smell of freshly mown grass, or the allergic reaction you get with your sunblock spray. 

All around, forecasts for the next ninety degrees of season continue the creative bursts and trends that were jostled around at the eve of Spring and cardinal eclipses. Mars is now fully functional—flaccidly retrograde for most of our recent memory—but may still have to work around relational arguments and bursts of unfairness in Libra, the sign of its detriment. 

The cosmic twins embrace a fundamental duality with the creation of art. One needs to recognize beauty in its purest form (Venus) but also have the ability to transmit feelings, emotions, and images into structure, form, or language (Mercury), and when they’re unified, all of heaven sings. 

Jupiter is likewise moving through the later degrees of Cancer, the sign of its exaltation. I’m not entirely sure why certain planets are exalted or fallen in different signs. It could’ve likely been an eenie-meenie-minie-mo sort of situation. Ancient astrologers likely wanted to give us an extra layer of definition based on what they’d observed for centuries. 

It doesn’t hurt to imagine the rambunctious, wide-eyed, expansive nature of the blessed benefic to be nurtured, comforted, and fed by the crab’s reflective and maternal hearth. In a way, the light of the Moon might be giving Jupiter the extra boost of security and confidence it needs to move forward into our own personal great unknowns. 

Active creativity is getting an enormous bolster from the inspired qualities of Jupiter, Mercury, and Venus. Use that to champion forward your work, and enlighten the exciting promises ahead with a few extra dashes of pixie dust. Now is the time to foster, and cultivate, your work. As Spring begot the planting of new seeds, the watery embrace of Summer will feed our work and aspirations what it needs to become fully realized. All that is required is the slightest bit of awareness, listening to the heart, and possibly an Al Pacino-voiced Siri type thing.

Saturn and Chiron speak longingly and with great soliloquies to one another, trining from Scorpio and Pisces, respectively. Chiron will take a few more years journey through the sacrificial sea of imagination that is whatever was before birth. Together, Saturn and Chiron spank one another way toward naughty ecstatic awakening. If it hurts, that means you’re headed in the right direction. Turn your impassioned pain into celebratory screams. That layer of emotional skin wants desperately to be shed, but sometimes you have to get dark and dirty to recognize what it is you’re actually letting go of.  

Water could be a huge deal this summer, either by drought or heightened tropical storms, or both. We will likely be drawn to water’s refreshing cleansing after the dreadful winter that rocked most of North America. There may be reason to be cautious of the ocean, because, frankly, our karma isn’t paid yet, though we may have earned a brief reprieve. Just watch out for bay sharks.


June 7th, 2014

Your clothes are old. Even if you bought them seconds ago, they’ve probably already gone out of style, and people are definitely judging you for wearing that jean jacket… syke! They’re totally not.

Apologies for my absence to the three of you who read my blog. Two days after writing the previous post, Ray Fiennes—Voldemort, himself—comes into my restaurant. Needless to say, I was a little spooked. It begged me to ask, how much of this world am I writing into existence?

Regardless, I hope you’ve taken this brief reprieve to note that you aren’t cool anymore. That iPhone? Out of date. U can haz cheezburger? Nope nope nope nope nope. Beards are on the way out, too—that’s a head’s up. Social order has turned into a flocking dance of pigeons from one fallen seed to the next, the older pigeons feigning indifference toward their own inability to keep up, secretly wishing it was, you know, like it “used to be,” notably, in a world where they themselves were young, hip, and agile. 

The only difference between now and then and further then is the speed with which ideas, trends, and opportunities spread. We have truly entered into the “Aquarian Age,” individuality forgone for the sake of mass collective hive minds. The Queen, in this case, is social acceptance itself, an inevitable turning point in learning that, as humans—and further, all life—we’re all bound by blood, part of the same interconnected web of life. 

As Mercury enters another current of retrograde, we might ask what latent notions hiding in our mind palaces would best be deleted. A giant gust of transition has blown up from the underbellies of perception, and these opportunities rarely come with such form. The last time I’ve personally felt this amicable to change was in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy in New York City. 

At the time, I was staying with a friend in the Lower East Side, and we experienced the fullest extent of the blackout. New York City had never been in such supreme silence. Bars stayed open in glistening candlelight, and people seemed to, like, care, and stuff. Bloomberg noted the Occupy movement as having a quicker, more efficient relief effort than the Red Cross. My faith in the city was reinvigorated by the new connections and opportunities that came in the wake of making space. 

I’ve noted it in the past: in order to accept new blessings, one must make room. Conceptualize all you want about making emotional or psychological shifts, the greatest response comes from an interactive, three-dimensional relationship with the world. Yeah, that means throwing out your old damn clothes.

Chances are, if you have to think about whether or not you need it, you don’t. Please spare me the indulgence of agreeing with me and rather do something about it.

Maybe you have three pairs of hoodies. You only really need one hoodie. Maybe you want some variety. Ok, pick two hoodies, and give one to a homeless shelter, or something. That gives you room to get a new hoodie, and now someone who might be cold is now warm. Life will never be short of hoodies. And when you die, that’s it. No more hoodies. Sentimentality be damned. 

Take a day and reset your life. In spite of sounding like an idiot, say, “Ok, this is my reset day.” Force yourself to get rid of everything. Be aggressive with deletion. Trade in games to get store credit. Mercury retrograde is the perfect time not for letting go, but letting in, and recognizing the supreme complexity of life by itself (that’s without stuff) and the architecture of this divine universe that seems to want to give us everything, if only we had the sense to make room for it. 

Perhaps nature felt that New York City needed a jolt, and Sandy was sent to make room. This is our reality. Listen to the signs, go within, and make conscious space. Otherwise, a force greater than you’d like might come around to shake things up for you.

The universe is completely amoral, indifferent to what we value as sacred. To the universe, everything is sacred, and so the ant carries the same weight as an elephant. There is no difference between what is destroyed, created, or sustained. Why not take the time, then, to choose how to write your story?

We’ve emerged from a harsh winter. Do something for yourself—your actual self—for once. Note: Rocko’s Modern Life will always be cool. 

April 15th, 2014

The vial of blood lay before me—one step remains before the revival of the Dark Lord, the Goblin King, Sauron, George Lucas, Red Skull, and Tom—or Jerry; never was sure who the “bad guy” was in that situation.

We tend to cower in fear at the mythic overtakings of those who creep in the dark, because we’re supposed to be scared of what goes bump in the night. But in India, Lord Shiva is known as the Great Destroyer, and  he is succeeded by the greater wrath of the goddess Kali, wearing her victim’s skulls around her neck and stomping upon Shiva like a rag doll. Simply, her antics make Grand Theft Auto look like a kindergarden finger-painting class.

Not only do these gods represent death, destruction, darkness, and the shadows, but the process of change, transformation, and purge. They are worshipped and respected—some devote their entire lives to Kali, or She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And they do not resemble the Death Eaters of Potter-lore, but blissful, ecstatic, chaste devotees of God. 

The full moon transits through Libra, across a retrograding Mars, creating a total lunar eclipse to the effect of turning the moon “blood red.” So, if you wanted to hypothetically revive any dark lords, now would be a good time. 

Tensions will rise—the cardinal energy of the moon is heightened by the grand cross strengthening in Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn. I have since doubled my circuit training, personal workouts and yoga classes in an effort to bleed myself to exhaustion, because, something will burn, and it might as well be the calories.

These next few weeks will set the pace for the rest of your year. As mentioned in earlier posts, the cardinal movement will either fill you with the extraordinary amount of energy required to get your shit done, or build up inside of you like a stagnant tumor until it, or you, bursts. My advice to you: start bursting ahead of time. Push yourself to the extreme. Get yourself an enema. Play a violent videogame and really kick some ass.

Destruction has its place—anyone can look out the window these days and list a dozen reasons as to how we’re destroying ourselves, the planet, and our culture. It’s not the biggest deal. 

Whitewashed Jedi live by the Muppetine wisdom, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Speaking to the grayer creed, you’re damn right there is try. 

We live through cycles of personal destruction on a day-to-day basis. Ever find yourself in front of the same conflict, over and over, even though you “learned the lesson,” sending you into a pit of extraordinary depression? When you think, how could I possibly emerge from this, my life sucks, and nothing will ever work out, and I might as well give up. And even when you pick yourself back up, life doesn’t feel that much better.

Growth can be extremely subtle, often completely invisible to our perception. We live in the moment, in the center of the storm, and it takes a bird’s eye, expansive view to understand the totality of one’s story, or chapter. 

No matter how long you watch a tree, it’s impossible to see it grow. Eventually, you may have new states to compare the old ones to, but the actual growth is so minuscule, and so patient, that it is quite impossible to perceive. 

We learn from the failure to succeed. So we try again, and we fail, again and again and again, until we don’t. You will fail countless times, and you must continue to try, and you start over, again, and it feels like forever, but each time you learn something that makes you approach the situation differently. And, you fail again. And again, you approach your life with a subtle shift. You can fail as many times as you want, but you only need to win once to beat the game.

Gamers don’t fight the super secret hidden awesome boss monster once, and then say, “Well, I guess I’m not good enough.” They die, and learn the patterns. Then, they approach the super secret hidden awesome boss monster again. And they die, again and again. Maybe they go level up somewhere else, and come back. Eventually, they win.

Embrace the dark, destructive nature of life. 
Trust in your ability to grow, get better, and transform, without having to see it to believe it. You’re changing, trust me—we all are. When the lights go out, everyone wants someone to cuddle, even Lord Voldemort.


It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

William Shakespeare

One of my favorite questions is, “So, you believe in that stuff?” My oft response is, “Sure, the same way a mathematician believes in a ruler.” Seriously though, do Con Ed employees get asked if they believe in electricity?

Personally, I’ve gone back and forth between “believing” in astrology many times, and it never changes the fact that it’s something interesting that can tell a story and maybe help someone. So, I’ve stopped caring whether or not anyone—myself included—believes in the stuff, and I focus more on the intuitive services provided. As a dear friend bluntly put, “If your heart was in it, you could read your fortune from discarded tea leaves.”

Last year, the Spring Equinox came with a nearly perfect trine between Saturn, the Moon, and Chiron, all in water signs. Say what you will about astrology, but it’s pretty cool when the planets make shapes. For myself, the past cycle has brought an enormous depth of emotional reconstruction and healing, of which I’m still trying to figure out. I committed to ceremonial work in Peru, dramatically cut auditioning out of my life, met K.A. Applegate (on the Autumnal Equinox), started a yoga teacher training, and began writing words for Kill Screen Magazine. 

Grand water trines induced elaborate blessing freak outs over the summer, but most failed to incorporate the supreme lethargy that come with such “good” aspects. Creatively, last year was rewarding. But as the winter winds down, I am still nothing if not completely emotionally baffled.

Belief can, and will, completely betray you, whether it be in a lover, country, or concept. Or perhaps you, the believer, will betray the belief system, which may or may not defy all belief. Even the Sun, one day, will explode or something instead of rise, letting down all the roosters and whatever tiny biotic organisms are left on this planet. Thing is, that’s ok. 

This year, the Spring Equinox foretells heavy cardinal action, so expect some hitting and ground running to come soon. While some may be cowering in fear of grand crosses and mega badass eclipses, this astrologer says, “Bring it.” An engine needs that spark to get the magic spinning, and by golly we needed it yesterday.

Action, comparatively to belief, holds weight. If you believe in karma, then, as action begets karma, there’s a connection. We are constantly impacting the world in more ways than one. We often associate action with physical doing, like running or eating, but there must be a way to combine the two concepts. Meditation, for example, is totally an action.

In the name of spring-a-ding-ding, how do you actively place yourself in the world? Answers may include thoughts, triumphs and failures, odder motifs, hums, and jingle jangles. Integrate the murky, muddled, dreamy missteps, and be kind when rewinding. 

Believe in whatever toots your horn. Goings are going to get tough, but in a good way. Because we’re unabashedly starting sentences with because, I want a Playstation 4, and life is ripe with reshaped synapses and corrected mistakes. Cardinal signs, especially Aries, will gentlemanly start your engines. If you’re looking to rewrite your manuscript, get moving—this year, it’s getting published.


The milky mirror reflects an immaterial substance only known to those who seek with eyes closed, blind to facade that displaces reality with illusion. As we return to the core of mythic substance, our three unlikely heroes continue on their journey of self-fulfillment, governing the flow and fancy of abled players. 

Aeons have past since their stories have been fumbled into coherency. Two of the three have recently emerged from the bellows of meditation, and now they await an initiation into higher grounds of thought. For the mercurial, this takes no effort. Our beloved Morningstar, however, is amassed by the intrinsic excitement of the new, innovative, and revolutionary. 

“Do you see what I see?”

“What?” the Messenger answers, hovering in lotus a good three feet above her. She has clasped a group of daffodils in her palms, and poured her face into its petals. 

“The fractals.”

“I cannot, seeing as you are so consumed.”

She gasps in defiance, looking up at him, her sundress flowing in the elegant breeze of the summery hilltop. “You know what I meant,” she responded. “Where is your eagerness to appreciate my beauty? Do you not feel as you once did?”

“You may have had the time to emerge from your shadow, but I have not, dear sister. Allow me the briefest repose of reflection while I return to earth.” And, in stating so, he does. At the same time, a great horn of celebration blows in the distance, and birds flutter about at the foot of an old forest. 

“He’s at it, again,” the Morningstar states. 

“Yes, it seems more than one of us is overjoyed at the coming of this Spring. The Young King seems confident that he has the army necessary to withstand the tension brought upon by the Old Ones. Blessings untold he may bring, but he must be careful to make no sudden missteps, as arrogance can take the better of him.”

“We have not spoken in some time, you and I.” 

“No, we haven’t.”

Another horn sounds, and cheering is heard in the distance. Although a frigid chill still stirs from the wintry interlude that plagued an utter silence among the Personalities, opportunity brews, felt by all life as the growth and awareness of the seeds planted in the fog. The great cycle, returned at the last, brings forth the new.

“And what of our brother?”

Mercury thought of the last conversation he had with Mars, some time ago, long before he embarked on an intensified training to prepare himself for war. 

“He has a difficult task. More than one event will strike at the bonds between our Grandfathers as we seek to displace the old world. This will likely cause a rift, or two. And who can say of the other worlds, where our own resonance pales in comparison? This will be the time for slipping into the shadows and staying off the front lines. Our brother will distract who he can, while we slip into the heart of the matter. From there, you will carry out your own task.” He sighed, and looked hopeful, for once. “I cannot help but be curious.”

“You? But you know everything.”

“I used to. But as time perceivably passes, I am becoming more aware of the fact that I do not. There is something else afoot, something indecipherable, and all we can do is continue to carry out our task.”

“Are we—what’s going to happen?”

Mercury looked into her eyes, and she felt warmth and compassion come from who she had always known as her brother. She saw him, and then didn’t, and then did again, but in a different way. His eyes had grown deeper, as if a veil had been lifted—one that she never knew was there. She understood, if only a little, that after their mission, nothing would be the same. 

for the learn’d astrologer:

Full Moon in 26 degrees Virgo

Trust in your power to communication. Mercury and Venus have both recently stationed direct and they are free-wheeling it in Aquarius, living life to the fullest. An air sign, Aquarius channels the coherent, electromagnetic frequencies that combine all of existence, so if you want to use your magic flute to warp to the end of the level, you can totally do that—if only you could remember the song.

Insight will strengthen with Mercury, Venus, and Mars all in air signs. Trust in the signs that come to you and be empowered by what kind of feels right. The mind will be sharp, though so will it’s ability to distract and defuse. Setting time aside for yourself is the best option before making a large-scale decision. 

Jupiter has been direct for almost two weeks, and we can already feel the good fortune returning alongside the Spring Equinox. It be best not to get ahead of ourselves, however, and ride the blessings like a wave with no set outcome. The only thing that can direct a wave is the ocean—and maybe the Moon, which is entirely full today—so you might as well let the ocean direct, and trust that you’ll only end up in a good place. Well, as long as you want to.

Mars is, of course, retrograding, and causing quite a bit of stir in the astrological communities as it moves to create a hard Grand Cross with Pluto, Uranus, and Jupiter at the end of April. Yeah, it’s best not to think about it. Batten down the hatches, to say the least. Maybe move to the beach. You’ll want to be off the radar at this time, as most responses from others are going to be activated, intense, and aggressive. Blend in like a pirate assassin in the bustling utopia of 18th Century Nassau, and you’ll do just fine. 

Transformation is in full effect. If there are parts of your life that are asking to be changed, then do it. Work on yourself through the struggles, and weirdness, and confusion. There’s a silver lining here, but we’re not supposed to talk about that, really. You know what’s up. So, trust that, and move forward with clear intentions of what you want. If you don’t know, then ask yourself. Then give yourself the space to let the seed grow, and change. I guarantee you’ll be serendipitously surprised.

Image via Andy Kehoe


February 26th, 2014

Nostalgia is fickle. Miyazaki, possibly the most beloved animator of our generation, is retiring after his unusually realistic project detailing some of the darker moments of WWII-era Japan. His wind is passing, and another readies its arrival.

Friday morning, Mercury stations direct after a tiresome, challenging, and patient retrograde. My last post chided the relevance of such a time, considering how often retrogrades happen and how quick we are to blame our personal inconsistencies on the planets.

I’d liken this week’s offering to those moments in war when soldiers from both sides sit in their bunkers—saying nothing in particular, maybe playing cards or telling stories in that poignant way that attempts to quiet a room, saving the unsaid truths to remain just so. A heavy silence pervades, and the soldiers don’t tighten, but breathe and pray to their gods, because something is about to happen. Well, that’s how it is in the movies. 

We’re looking toward one of those show-stopping moments in April, when cardinal eclipse madness begs for an enormous amount of exaggerated destruction and discord. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

This weekend, the moon marks both the final burial of old cycles and the fostering, cleansing rehabilitation of the maddening self-reconstruction that potentially took place during the past few months. If your world has felt cloudy, and weird, and unwarranted, it’s ok—everyone’s has. Secretly, this has all been an effort to make space for the future changes and blessings that want to be a part of your life. Dying petals must be clipped off for flowering new buds to flourish. The catch? You have to do the cutting.

Mars stations retrograde the day of the new moon, one day after Mercury’s station direct. Thus, the last cycle out of this weird 2014 trifecta—Venus in December/January, Mercury in February—begins now. Apart from allowing what wants to happen, traditional seed planting seems arbitrary. There has never been a better time to stick with the shadows and do your primary work either alone or with a select few.  

The world is going to “happen” in April and we will likely see dredges of political upheaval continue to escalate as they have been. At the time of this writing, Ukraine and Venezuela are the primary suspects of such structural catastrophe. The sky is so volatile that there’s no telling to what extent the tension will manifest.

In America, we have this fixation on being holed up and safe—like in Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, we sit behind screens with buds in our ears, tuning us out of connection and allowing narratives to placate themselves as totally legit.

Unlike prophecies in such highly creative and ominous fictions, however, the transformation of the first world will probably be much less dramatic. Regardless of how ridiculously deconstructive apocalyptic conspiracy theories lead themselves to be, it is because of this world’s constant opposition to itself that even allows them to exist. Argue with me if you want, but I live in New York.

We’re all human, and more people want to be holding hands than not—and that’s an important facet to remember as digressions escalate around us and the media extrapolates stories into elaborated oblivion. And we’ll be watching from ivory towers.

Instead of feigning ignorance in the modern world, surrounded by exceedingly fast technological changes and governmental overthrows and fellow mans murdering each other and stuff, why not face the responsibility that you have, individually, as a person, to be a person? We need to be working together on this one.

Rather than praying for the generalized peace and serenity of all beings during times of strife, help someone in your own backyard. Stop thinking that meditation alone will solve anything.

If we’re truly the “chosen one” generation, then we’ve yet to decide whether that means Harry Potter in the good way, Darth Vader in the bad way, or an alternate universe where Anakin Skywalker is actually the shit and doesn’t become a whiny emotional asshole.

Guess what? The world is different now than it was yesterday. Accept that. Instead of sagging into nostalgia, dreaming about times long past—like unlimited MetroCards under $100, Tower Records, and George Lucas making good movies—forge ahead a new path, and let’s become that “something new” everyone’s been talking about.

February 6th, 2014

You heard me. I know what my last post was about. And I know what this post is about. But this doesn’t change anything.

We all know the drill. Every so often, you have a conversation with a friend, and they start talking about how their train was delayed for an hour. “Well, you know, Mercury’s in retrograde, so blah blah and dippity doo dah and hocus pocus and ring around the rosy!!” You might respond, “Oh cool, that means nothing to me and you’re insane.”

Retrograding Mercury is one of the most widely known astrological concepts in pop culture, right up there with cusps—a bullshit attempt to seem more interesting—and Saturn Returns—which completely suck, because we’re kind of idiots regarding knowing who we are and stuff.

Traditionally, Mercury retrograde warns against starting new projects, signing contracts, and communicative mishaps. The problem with that, and life, is that Mercury retrogrades for three and a half weeks, three times a year. Counting the shadow periods these cautionary phases last roughly half of our entire existence.

Not rare. That’s almost as common as encountering a will Zubat on Mt. Moon. It’s going to happen, it’s going to be annoying and confuse you with Supersonic, and you might as well accept it.

I’ve looked at these periods through various lenses. There’s always the natural course of avoiding what must be avoided, carefully tiptoeing around a minefield of… I guess, bad things. Because, Mercury retrograde is “bad,” right? Perhaps it’s healthier to look at these periods as part of the natural course of life, just as death, suffering, and un-responded-to text messages might be. You know, unavoidable. 

Say you want to close on a house during a Mercury retrograde period—i.e., sign paperwork. Any astrologer worth their salt would say, “Don’t do that, you fucking moron,” just as the meteorologist will tell you to stay out of the ocean during a hurricane. The house might secretly have termites, or your planned marriage will fall through, or you’ll find yourself unable to make payments. You might simply not enjoy it as much as you thought. There would likely be some sort of perceptive or communicative hindrance.

But, that doesn’t solve the issue. Mercury, ever the trickster, isn’t just poking you with his pitchfork for shits and giggles—well, actually, he is—he’s drawing attention to some part of your life that you’re decidedly ignoring. And that’s what retrogrades are about; rather than avoiding, incorporating.

Mercury is the first planet from the Sun, maybe the most personal of the natural spheres. The teachings that come up during this period are utterly subjective. Therefore, it’s impossible to draw conclusions about what it might mean to the restaurant when the computers break down. The bear will react differently than a hawk to a fallen tree. The subtle differences in experience make up the intricacies of our individual respective reflections. We’re all beautiful snowflakes.

Instead of telling my client, “Just wait a few weeks to buy the house,” I might ask, “What’s making you want to buy the house?” Maybe it becomes clear that they’re unsettled in their marriage and feel that making a big move will charge up the relationship. If that’s the case, then it doesn’t matter when the house is bought—that conflict will still be there. 

Mercury, the master of the mind, trumps these hidden truths that we so skillfully manipulate ourselves out of admitting—or so we think. Annoyances and hiccups occur during Mercury retrograde to draw our attention toward these issues that we feign resolved.

Duh, technology breaks down. That’s a no-brainer. We spend way too much time distracting ourselves with toys and electronics when there is a living, breathing human that wants to process emotions, face themselves, de-stress, and for Christ’s sake, heal. Louis C.K. couldn’t illustrate this point more clearly.

When an annoyance, miscommunication, or contract appears, simply take a few moments to stop everything, focus your attention inward, and go over your intention. What are you attempting to accomplish? Is your wish fueled by the mind or ego? Asking the question is enough; you don’t need an answer.

Last week, Venus stationed direct, drawing the curtain on an elaborately dramatic retrograde period in Capricorn. She’ll rise in the east with the Sun for most of the year, igniting our days with fiery passion and valued warmth.

Mars will retrograde March 1st, one day following Mercury’s station direct. This will likely be an extremely challenging period for those stuck in reoccurring cycles—Mars’ engaged heat will be turned up a notch all the more to get you out of the funk. Ultimately, these periods are here to help you, and Mars is especially outwardly aggressive to the ego and its tendencies. This is your warning notice.

My best advice for these retrograde periods occurring now until May is honestly to stop thinking about it. Attention is being drawn inward. Go with the flow. Seriously, just give up. Pick your battles—or, more wisely, take solace in the shadows and act the puppeteer. Accept the loss. Take a moment to check your order, retrace your steps, and above all else, breathe. Everything is going to be ok. Self-reflection is only as rough as you want it to be. 

As the wise Jedi Master Yoda once said, “It is pointless to resist.” 


In case you’re wondering, yes, we still have quite a bit of retrograding left for the month. Venus is presently approaching an aspect to both Pluto and Jupiter, the latter of which is also moving perceivably backward. The two most benefic planets are retrograding, perhaps translating to feelings of bleakness and all around despair with your environment.

This may exclude the practitioner who gives his perceptions an inward spiral—quite literally the intention of retrograde periods—and allows his or herself a sacred, meditative processing. 

Listening is never more important during these times. There are often slight nods and hints as to what direction you’re meant to take. People usually mistake warning signs as challenges, and end up getting hurt in the process. You know, if you’ve just set off from Pallett Town, you can’t expect to take on the Elite Four right away.

Growth is an important awareness to integrate—we are always learning, taking on new imprints, and expanding our consciousness, recycling cells, etc. Listening to the inner guides allow us to be evenly matched and progress naturally through the story.

Additionally, the White Witch has many spies hidden in the woods, and even some of the trees are on her side. We like to stride about this narrow world like colossi, but sometimes it’s better to remain silent in the shadows. The Universe loves to prove you wrong. At all times possible, keep it to yourself. Thought is more powerful than words.

It might appear to be “rough” right now, and we’re headed into perhaps the hardest part of retrograde periods—the end. The finish line is just over the horizon, but we’re not there yet. I feel like being in a relationship during Venus retrograde must be like being in a relationship at Burning Man. If you’re connected to each other, it will show in spades. If you’re so much in your own little world that even the planets aren’t affecting you, that’s when you know he or she’s a keeper. Otherwise, you’ll both have some karmic tide to wade through to make it out together on the other side.

For once, I’m going to be optimistic. Venus is retrograding in Capricorn (about to hit Pluto, so yeah, it’s going to get destructive here near the end) a sign of structures and manifestation. Adapt the mantra of “build it, and they will come,” with regard to your self. In a relationship, the sanctuary of your body must be pure to house the essence of another person. You are “sharing space.” When you invite someone over, you’d prefer your house to be immaculate, right? Your karmic house should be treated no differently.

Purifying is simple in three easy steps, yours if you call now and get 50% off your first purchase, with a backup purifier just in case. That’s two for the price of one. Seriously folks, that’s a steal.

Take this last week, perhaps the most important of this period, to build the body that is your temple, and let the good be attracted to you—especially if that “good” is another person. I will say that any difficulties will likely be mended after the 31st (though Mercury’s retrograding on the 6th, so who knows) and that with Venus’ upcoming conjunction with Pluto, it might get messy before the bath. 


January 5th, 2014

You, darkness, from which I come,

I love you more than all the fires

that fence out the world,

for the fire makes a circle for everyone

so that no one sees you anymore.

But darkness holds it all:

the shape and the flame,

the animal and myself,

how it holds them,

all powers, all sight—

and it is possible: its great strength

is breaking into my body.

I have faith in the night.


I am aware that the “new year” has already begun. The Chinese New Year begins on January 31st, and the astrological New Year truthfully begins on March 20th, when the Sun’s perceived stance in the sky aligns with the Aries Point. The Arguellian-inspired Galactic Moon Calendar begins at the end of July. So what?

As we continue to reflect upon regurgitated cycles of our depressed, unchanging lives of fortune, I offer a glimpse into the Gregorian “2014,” pinpointing how our journeys might trudge forward with no hope of breaking the formula. That, and the other thing where we like to pretend to make changes, improve our habits, and save the world from imminent annihilation. 

The much-discussed Pluto/Uranus square foretells a version of the Great Human Extinction, at least at the hands of the teenage fan fiction simulation being drawn up by the Adolescent Orchestrator known as “God.” Maybe in a few billion years little roach creatures will be studying our bones and dressing up in life-size people costumes, making blockbuster films that ask, “What killed the Humansaurs?”

In 2013, we loved, laughed, and cried, as most might surmise. Briefly glancing through time, it was the year that followed a major transcendental apocalypse, which, in case you blinked, actually happened. I had the fortune of spending the days before December 21st, 2012 with longtime friend and collaborator Daniel Pinchbeck, apocalypse enthusiast extraordinaire, and sailed my way to new dimensions under canopies of blessed, ancient Indian raga at the Body Actualized Center in Brooklyn. 

In 2012, according to legend, my world was destroyed at the mercy of an ongoing Kali Yuga, as I’d wedded and bedded a deific rival whose entrapments suffocated my self-worth to near death. The following year found myself picking up the crumbling pieces that had been left scattered across the globe, as an orphaned Osiris left to finish the resurrection ritual by himself.

2013 was the year of meditation and understanding, as more disasters were swept under the carpet under the influence of Saturn in Scorpio, and we were lied to, spit at, and betrayed, left to look at the shadows within for answers. 2013 asked me what truths were worth believing in, and which were not. Over the summer, we received blessings from several trines and “positive” aspects, albeit elusive, vague, undetermined, and underwhelming. 2013 was patient, allowing me a lethargic repose whilst I remembered who I am; adversely, this new year will be active, demanding, and merciless. 

There is too much, so let me sum up. 2014 brings fiery, tense, and alighted energy into our framework; fire is surely a theme, with the Pluto/Uranus square in full resonance, and cardinal—read: active, initiatory—rain pours into day-to-day in an unending storm. The potential for magical happenings is surreal and shameless—just the same, without focus or concentration, you will watch your life deconstruct around you in fractal shambles. I predict that most lives will play out as such, as we harvest the fate dolled upon us by centuries of bullish and ignorant behavior. No one should be surprised if we all start dying for whatever reason.

Adversely, we are conducting this illusionary symphony, and we can choose to grow up from the adolescence that we plague ourselves with, taking responsibility for our lives, and choices, and stop trying to blame/believe in a “higher power” calling the shots. Once we incorporate the beauty of ourselves as divine artists, shamans, and train conductors, then the healing of our world will be instantaneous. Tell your friends. 

One thing—it’s okay if everyone dies. I think we’ve pretty much covered that death, however mysterious, isn’t the end. Am I right, folks? Is this thing on?

The goal here might be to create the most beautiful piece of art that’s humanly possible. We want everybody watching from the meta-mezzanine to be blown away by the telling of our story. We want twists, turns, action, suspense, and dynamic characters. We want Prince Zuko to earn his transformation and find his light at the last minute, right before it’s too late. Because, duh, it’s much more interesting.

Relationships will be a major focus during 2014. Mars transits through Libra until May, and Venus through Capricorn until March—encouraging a reflection and repurposing of founded personal values—while the warrior planet aspects the cardinal square between Pluto and Uranus. Now is the time to place mega faith in lists, and creating a sacred relationship between what is thought and what is done. Because we’re about to see intensely manifest results.

Mercury begins one of three retrogrades on February 6th, and the earlier months of this year will prove to be incredibly important in creating new belief systems. In a way, it’s time to go full mutant—allow whatever brewing powers the chance to express themselves to fruition. Another exact square between Pluto and Uranus gears up in April, which will likely feel something like Professor X sending you out on your first mission—or Magneto, depending on with whom you ally.

Strap yourself in, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride, much like when Harry was picked up by that weird double decker bus in Prisoner of Azkaban. Take solace with nightly creatures that fool the common muggle and divulge in devilish trickery. Follow your foolish instincts. In a manner of speaking, “solemnly swear that you’re up to no good.” A strange and unexplainable hearth of protection lay next to the bed of mischief.

Maybe this is the year to shut up and finally listen to that inner voice. But, don’t take my word for it.