Witness the Sky

Planets, stars, and the heavens offer ephemeral insight into the architecture of our known reality. This is their story.
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April 15th, 2014

The vial of blood lay before me—one step remains before the revival of the Dark Lord, the Goblin King, Sauron, George Lucas, Red Skull, and Tom—or Jerry; never was sure who the “bad guy” was in that situation.

We tend to cower in fear at the mythic overtakings of those who creep in the dark, because we’re supposed to be scared of what goes bump in the night. But in India, Lord Shiva is known as the Great Destroyer, and  he is succeeded by the greater wrath of the goddess Kali, wearing her victim’s skulls around her neck and stomping upon Shiva like a rag doll. Simply, her antics make Grand Theft Auto look like a kindergarden finger-painting class.

Not only do these gods represent death, destruction, darkness, and the shadows, but the process of change, transformation, and purge. They are worshipped and respected—some devote their entire lives to Kali, or She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And they do not resemble the Death Eaters of Potter-lore, but blissful, ecstatic, chaste devotees of God. 

The full moon transits through Libra, across a retrograding Mars, creating a total lunar eclipse to the effect of turning the moon “blood red.” So, if you wanted to hypothetically revive any dark lords, now would be a good time. 

Tensions will rise—the cardinal energy of the moon is heightened by the grand cross strengthening in Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn. I have since doubled my circuit training, personal workouts and yoga classes in an effort to bleed myself to exhaustion, because, something will burn, and it might as well be the calories.


These next few weeks will set the pace for the rest of your year. As mentioned in earlier posts, the cardinal movement will either fill you with the extraordinary amount of energy required to get your shit done, or build up inside of you like a stagnant tumor until it, or you, bursts. My advice to you: start bursting ahead of time. Push yourself to the extreme. Get yourself an enema. Play a violent videogame and really kick some ass.

Destruction has its place—anyone can look out the window these days and list a dozen reasons as to how we’re destroying ourselves, the planet, and our culture. It’s not the biggest deal. 

Whitewashed Jedi live by the Muppetine wisdom, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Speaking to the grayer creed, you’re damn right there is try. 

We live through cycles of personal destruction on a day-to-day basis. Ever find yourself in front of the same conflict, over and over, even though you “learned the lesson,” sending you into a pit of extraordinary depression? When you think, how could I possibly emerge from this, my life sucks, and nothing will ever work out, and I might as well give up. And even when you pick yourself back up, life doesn’t feel that much better.

Growth can be extremely subtle, often completely invisible to our perception. We live in the moment, in the center of the storm, and it takes a bird’s eye, expansive view to understand the totality of one’s story, or chapter. 

No matter how long you watch a tree, it’s impossible to see it grow. Eventually, you may have new states to compare the old ones to, but the actual growth is so minuscule, and so patient, that it is quite impossible to perceive. 

We learn from the failure to succeed. So we try again, and we fail, again and again and again, until we don’t. You will fail countless times, and you must continue to try, and you start over, again, and it feels like forever, but each time you learn something that makes you approach the situation differently. And, you fail again. And again, you approach your life with a subtle shift. You can fail as many times as you want, but you only need to win once to beat the game.

Gamers don’t fight the super secret hidden awesome boss monster once, and then say, “Well, I guess I’m not good enough.” They die, and learn the patterns. Then, they approach the super secret hidden awesome boss monster again. And they die, again and again. Maybe they go level up somewhere else, and come back. Eventually, they win.

Embrace the dark, destructive nature of life. 
Trust in your ability to grow, get better, and transform, without having to see it to believe it. You’re changing, trust me—we all are. When the lights go out, everyone wants someone to cuddle, even Lord Voldemort.





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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

William Shakespeare

One of my favorite questions is, “So, you believe in that stuff?” My oft response is, “Sure, the same way a mathematician believes in a ruler.” Seriously though, do Con Ed employees get asked if they believe in electricity?

Personally, I’ve gone back and forth between “believing” in astrology many times, and it never changes the fact that it’s something interesting that can tell a story and maybe help someone. So, I’ve stopped caring whether or not anyone—myself included—believes in the stuff, and I focus more on the intuitive services provided. As a dear friend bluntly put, “If your heart was in it, you could read your fortune from discarded tea leaves.”

Last year, the Spring Equinox came with a nearly perfect trine between Saturn, the Moon, and Chiron, all in water signs. Say what you will about astrology, but it’s pretty cool when the planets make shapes. For myself, the past cycle has brought an enormous depth of emotional reconstruction and healing, of which I’m still trying to figure out. I committed to ceremonial work in Peru, dramatically cut auditioning out of my life, met K.A. Applegate (on the Autumnal Equinox), started a yoga teacher training, and began writing words for Kill Screen Magazine. 

Grand water trines induced elaborate blessing freak outs over the summer, but most failed to incorporate the supreme lethargy that come with such “good” aspects. Creatively, last year was rewarding. But as the winter winds down, I am still nothing if not completely emotionally baffled.

Belief can, and will, completely betray you, whether it be in a lover, country, or concept. Or perhaps you, the believer, will betray the belief system, which may or may not defy all belief. Even the Sun, one day, will explode or something instead of rise, letting down all the roosters and whatever tiny biotic organisms are left on this planet. Thing is, that’s ok. 

This year, the Spring Equinox foretells heavy cardinal action, so expect some hitting and ground running to come soon. While some may be cowering in fear of grand crosses and mega badass eclipses, this astrologer says, “Bring it.” An engine needs that spark to get the magic spinning, and by golly we needed it yesterday.

Action, comparatively to belief, holds weight. If you believe in karma, then, as action begets karma, there’s a connection. We are constantly impacting the world in more ways than one. We often associate action with physical doing, like running or eating, but there must be a way to combine the two concepts. Meditation, for example, is totally an action.

In the name of spring-a-ding-ding, how do you actively place yourself in the world? Answers may include thoughts, triumphs and failures, odder motifs, hums, and jingle jangles. Integrate the murky, muddled, dreamy missteps, and be kind when rewinding. 

Believe in whatever toots your horn. Goings are going to get tough, but in a good way. Because we’re unabashedly starting sentences with because, I want a Playstation 4, and life is ripe with reshaped synapses and corrected mistakes. Cardinal signs, especially Aries, will gentlemanly start your engines. If you’re looking to rewrite your manuscript, get moving—this year, it’s getting published.

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The milky mirror reflects an immaterial substance only known to those who seek with eyes closed, blind to facade that displaces reality with illusion. As we return to the core of mythic substance, our three unlikely heroes continue on their journey of self-fulfillment, governing the flow and fancy of abled players. 

Aeons have past since their stories have been fumbled into coherency. Two of the three have recently emerged from the bellows of meditation, and now they await an initiation into higher grounds of thought. For the mercurial, this takes no effort. Our beloved Morningstar, however, is amassed by the intrinsic excitement of the new, innovative, and revolutionary. 

“Do you see what I see?”

“What?” the Messenger answers, hovering in lotus a good three feet above her. She has clasped a group of daffodils in her palms, and poured her face into its petals. 

“The fractals.”

“I cannot, seeing as you are so consumed.”

She gasps in defiance, looking up at him, her sundress flowing in the elegant breeze of the summery hilltop. “You know what I meant,” she responded. “Where is your eagerness to appreciate my beauty? Do you not feel as you once did?”

“You may have had the time to emerge from your shadow, but I have not, dear sister. Allow me the briefest repose of reflection while I return to earth.” And, in stating so, he does. At the same time, a great horn of celebration blows in the distance, and birds flutter about at the foot of an old forest. 

“He’s at it, again,” the Morningstar states. 

“Yes, it seems more than one of us is overjoyed at the coming of this Spring. The Young King seems confident that he has the army necessary to withstand the tension brought upon by the Old Ones. Blessings untold he may bring, but he must be careful to make no sudden missteps, as arrogance can take the better of him.”

“We have not spoken in some time, you and I.” 

“No, we haven’t.”

Another horn sounds, and cheering is heard in the distance. Although a frigid chill still stirs from the wintry interlude that plagued an utter silence among the Personalities, opportunity brews, felt by all life as the growth and awareness of the seeds planted in the fog. The great cycle, returned at the last, brings forth the new.

“And what of our brother?”

Mercury thought of the last conversation he had with Mars, some time ago, long before he embarked on an intensified training to prepare himself for war. 

“He has a difficult task. More than one event will strike at the bonds between our Grandfathers as we seek to displace the old world. This will likely cause a rift, or two. And who can say of the other worlds, where our own resonance pales in comparison? This will be the time for slipping into the shadows and staying off the front lines. Our brother will distract who he can, while we slip into the heart of the matter. From there, you will carry out your own task.” He sighed, and looked hopeful, for once. “I cannot help but be curious.”

“You? But you know everything.”

“I used to. But as time perceivably passes, I am becoming more aware of the fact that I do not. There is something else afoot, something indecipherable, and all we can do is continue to carry out our task.”

“Are we—what’s going to happen?”

Mercury looked into her eyes, and she felt warmth and compassion come from who she had always known as her brother. She saw him, and then didn’t, and then did again, but in a different way. His eyes had grown deeper, as if a veil had been lifted—one that she never knew was there. She understood, if only a little, that after their mission, nothing would be the same. 


for the learn’d astrologer:

Full Moon in 26 degrees Virgo

Trust in your power to communication. Mercury and Venus have both recently stationed direct and they are free-wheeling it in Aquarius, living life to the fullest. An air sign, Aquarius channels the coherent, electromagnetic frequencies that combine all of existence, so if you want to use your magic flute to warp to the end of the level, you can totally do that—if only you could remember the song.

Insight will strengthen with Mercury, Venus, and Mars all in air signs. Trust in the signs that come to you and be empowered by what kind of feels right. The mind will be sharp, though so will it’s ability to distract and defuse. Setting time aside for yourself is the best option before making a large-scale decision. 

Jupiter has been direct for almost two weeks, and we can already feel the good fortune returning alongside the Spring Equinox. It be best not to get ahead of ourselves, however, and ride the blessings like a wave with no set outcome. The only thing that can direct a wave is the ocean—and maybe the Moon, which is entirely full today—so you might as well let the ocean direct, and trust that you’ll only end up in a good place. Well, as long as you want to.

Mars is, of course, retrograding, and causing quite a bit of stir in the astrological communities as it moves to create a hard Grand Cross with Pluto, Uranus, and Jupiter at the end of April. Yeah, it’s best not to think about it. Batten down the hatches, to say the least. Maybe move to the beach. You’ll want to be off the radar at this time, as most responses from others are going to be activated, intense, and aggressive. Blend in like a pirate assassin in the bustling utopia of 18th Century Nassau, and you’ll do just fine. 

Transformation is in full effect. If there are parts of your life that are asking to be changed, then do it. Work on yourself through the struggles, and weirdness, and confusion. There’s a silver lining here, but we’re not supposed to talk about that, really. You know what’s up. So, trust that, and move forward with clear intentions of what you want. If you don’t know, then ask yourself. Then give yourself the space to let the seed grow, and change. I guarantee you’ll be serendipitously surprised.

Image via Andy Kehoe

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February 26th, 2014

Nostalgia is fickle. Miyazaki, possibly the most beloved animator of our generation, is retiring after his unusually realistic project detailing some of the darker moments of WWII-era Japan. His wind is passing, and another readies its arrival.

Friday morning, Mercury stations direct after a tiresome, challenging, and patient retrograde. My last post chided the relevance of such a time, considering how often retrogrades happen and how quick we are to blame our personal inconsistencies on the planets.

I’d liken this week’s offering to those moments in war when soldiers from both sides sit in their bunkers—saying nothing in particular, maybe playing cards or telling stories in that poignant way that attempts to quiet a room, saving the unsaid truths to remain just so. A heavy silence pervades, and the soldiers don’t tighten, but breathe and pray to their gods, because something is about to happen. Well, that’s how it is in the movies. 

We’re looking toward one of those show-stopping moments in April, when cardinal eclipse madness begs for an enormous amount of exaggerated destruction and discord. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

This weekend, the moon marks both the final burial of old cycles and the fostering, cleansing rehabilitation of the maddening self-reconstruction that potentially took place during the past few months. If your world has felt cloudy, and weird, and unwarranted, it’s ok—everyone’s has. Secretly, this has all been an effort to make space for the future changes and blessings that want to be a part of your life. Dying petals must be clipped off for flowering new buds to flourish. The catch? You have to do the cutting.

Mars stations retrograde the day of the new moon, one day after Mercury’s station direct. Thus, the last cycle out of this weird 2014 trifecta—Venus in December/January, Mercury in February—begins now. Apart from allowing what wants to happen, traditional seed planting seems arbitrary. There has never been a better time to stick with the shadows and do your primary work either alone or with a select few.  

The world is going to “happen” in April and we will likely see dredges of political upheaval continue to escalate as they have been. At the time of this writing, Ukraine and Venezuela are the primary suspects of such structural catastrophe. The sky is so volatile that there’s no telling to what extent the tension will manifest.

In America, we have this fixation on being holed up and safe—like in Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, we sit behind screens with buds in our ears, tuning us out of connection and allowing narratives to placate themselves as totally legit.

Unlike prophecies in such highly creative and ominous fictions, however, the transformation of the first world will probably be much less dramatic. Regardless of how ridiculously deconstructive apocalyptic conspiracy theories lead themselves to be, it is because of this world’s constant opposition to itself that even allows them to exist. Argue with me if you want, but I live in New York.

We’re all human, and more people want to be holding hands than not—and that’s an important facet to remember as digressions escalate around us and the media extrapolates stories into elaborated oblivion. And we’ll be watching from ivory towers.

Instead of feigning ignorance in the modern world, surrounded by exceedingly fast technological changes and governmental overthrows and fellow mans murdering each other and stuff, why not face the responsibility that you have, individually, as a person, to be a person? We need to be working together on this one.

Rather than praying for the generalized peace and serenity of all beings during times of strife, help someone in your own backyard. Stop thinking that meditation alone will solve anything.

If we’re truly the “chosen one” generation, then we’ve yet to decide whether that means Harry Potter in the good way, Darth Vader in the bad way, or an alternate universe where Anakin Skywalker is actually the shit and doesn’t become a whiny emotional asshole.

Guess what? The world is different now than it was yesterday. Accept that. Instead of sagging into nostalgia, dreaming about times long past—like unlimited MetroCards under $100, Tower Records, and George Lucas making good movies—forge ahead a new path, and let’s become that “something new” everyone’s been talking about.

February 6th, 2014

You heard me. I know what my last post was about. And I know what this post is about. But this doesn’t change anything.

We all know the drill. Every so often, you have a conversation with a friend, and they start talking about how their train was delayed for an hour. “Well, you know, Mercury’s in retrograde, so blah blah and dippity doo dah and hocus pocus and ring around the rosy!!” You might respond, “Oh cool, that means nothing to me and you’re insane.”

Retrograding Mercury is one of the most widely known astrological concepts in pop culture, right up there with cusps—a bullshit attempt to seem more interesting—and Saturn Returns—which completely suck, because we’re kind of idiots regarding knowing who we are and stuff.

Traditionally, Mercury retrograde warns against starting new projects, signing contracts, and communicative mishaps. The problem with that, and life, is that Mercury retrogrades for three and a half weeks, three times a year. Counting the shadow periods these cautionary phases last roughly half of our entire existence.

Not rare. That’s almost as common as encountering a will Zubat on Mt. Moon. It’s going to happen, it’s going to be annoying and confuse you with Supersonic, and you might as well accept it.

I’ve looked at these periods through various lenses. There’s always the natural course of avoiding what must be avoided, carefully tiptoeing around a minefield of… I guess, bad things. Because, Mercury retrograde is “bad,” right? Perhaps it’s healthier to look at these periods as part of the natural course of life, just as death, suffering, and un-responded-to text messages might be. You know, unavoidable. 

Say you want to close on a house during a Mercury retrograde period—i.e., sign paperwork. Any astrologer worth their salt would say, “Don’t do that, you fucking moron,” just as the meteorologist will tell you to stay out of the ocean during a hurricane. The house might secretly have termites, or your planned marriage will fall through, or you’ll find yourself unable to make payments. You might simply not enjoy it as much as you thought. There would likely be some sort of perceptive or communicative hindrance.

But, that doesn’t solve the issue. Mercury, ever the trickster, isn’t just poking you with his pitchfork for shits and giggles—well, actually, he is—he’s drawing attention to some part of your life that you’re decidedly ignoring. And that’s what retrogrades are about; rather than avoiding, incorporating.

Mercury is the first planet from the Sun, maybe the most personal of the natural spheres. The teachings that come up during this period are utterly subjective. Therefore, it’s impossible to draw conclusions about what it might mean to the restaurant when the computers break down. The bear will react differently than a hawk to a fallen tree. The subtle differences in experience make up the intricacies of our individual respective reflections. We’re all beautiful snowflakes.

Instead of telling my client, “Just wait a few weeks to buy the house,” I might ask, “What’s making you want to buy the house?” Maybe it becomes clear that they’re unsettled in their marriage and feel that making a big move will charge up the relationship. If that’s the case, then it doesn’t matter when the house is bought—that conflict will still be there. 

Mercury, the master of the mind, trumps these hidden truths that we so skillfully manipulate ourselves out of admitting—or so we think. Annoyances and hiccups occur during Mercury retrograde to draw our attention toward these issues that we feign resolved.

Duh, technology breaks down. That’s a no-brainer. We spend way too much time distracting ourselves with toys and electronics when there is a living, breathing human that wants to process emotions, face themselves, de-stress, and for Christ’s sake, heal. Louis C.K. couldn’t illustrate this point more clearly.

When an annoyance, miscommunication, or contract appears, simply take a few moments to stop everything, focus your attention inward, and go over your intention. What are you attempting to accomplish? Is your wish fueled by the mind or ego? Asking the question is enough; you don’t need an answer.

Last week, Venus stationed direct, drawing the curtain on an elaborately dramatic retrograde period in Capricorn. She’ll rise in the east with the Sun for most of the year, igniting our days with fiery passion and valued warmth.

Mars will retrograde March 1st, one day following Mercury’s station direct. This will likely be an extremely challenging period for those stuck in reoccurring cycles—Mars’ engaged heat will be turned up a notch all the more to get you out of the funk. Ultimately, these periods are here to help you, and Mars is especially outwardly aggressive to the ego and its tendencies. This is your warning notice.

My best advice for these retrograde periods occurring now until May is honestly to stop thinking about it. Attention is being drawn inward. Go with the flow. Seriously, just give up. Pick your battles—or, more wisely, take solace in the shadows and act the puppeteer. Accept the loss. Take a moment to check your order, retrace your steps, and above all else, breathe. Everything is going to be ok. Self-reflection is only as rough as you want it to be. 

As the wise Jedi Master Yoda once said, “It is pointless to resist.” 

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In case you’re wondering, yes, we still have quite a bit of retrograding left for the month. Venus is presently approaching an aspect to both Pluto and Jupiter, the latter of which is also moving perceivably backward. The two most benefic planets are retrograding, perhaps translating to feelings of bleakness and all around despair with your environment.

This may exclude the practitioner who gives his perceptions an inward spiral—quite literally the intention of retrograde periods—and allows his or herself a sacred, meditative processing. 

Listening is never more important during these times. There are often slight nods and hints as to what direction you’re meant to take. People usually mistake warning signs as challenges, and end up getting hurt in the process. You know, if you’ve just set off from Pallett Town, you can’t expect to take on the Elite Four right away.

Growth is an important awareness to integrate—we are always learning, taking on new imprints, and expanding our consciousness, recycling cells, etc. Listening to the inner guides allow us to be evenly matched and progress naturally through the story.

Additionally, the White Witch has many spies hidden in the woods, and even some of the trees are on her side. We like to stride about this narrow world like colossi, but sometimes it’s better to remain silent in the shadows. The Universe loves to prove you wrong. At all times possible, keep it to yourself. Thought is more powerful than words.

It might appear to be “rough” right now, and we’re headed into perhaps the hardest part of retrograde periods—the end. The finish line is just over the horizon, but we’re not there yet. I feel like being in a relationship during Venus retrograde must be like being in a relationship at Burning Man. If you’re connected to each other, it will show in spades. If you’re so much in your own little world that even the planets aren’t affecting you, that’s when you know he or she’s a keeper. Otherwise, you’ll both have some karmic tide to wade through to make it out together on the other side.

For once, I’m going to be optimistic. Venus is retrograding in Capricorn (about to hit Pluto, so yeah, it’s going to get destructive here near the end) a sign of structures and manifestation. Adapt the mantra of “build it, and they will come,” with regard to your self. In a relationship, the sanctuary of your body must be pure to house the essence of another person. You are “sharing space.” When you invite someone over, you’d prefer your house to be immaculate, right? Your karmic house should be treated no differently.

Purifying is simple in three easy steps, yours if you call now and get 50% off your first purchase, with a backup purifier just in case. That’s two for the price of one. Seriously folks, that’s a steal.

Take this last week, perhaps the most important of this period, to build the body that is your temple, and let the good be attracted to you—especially if that “good” is another person. I will say that any difficulties will likely be mended after the 31st (though Mercury’s retrograding on the 6th, so who knows) and that with Venus’ upcoming conjunction with Pluto, it might get messy before the bath. 

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January 5th, 2014

You, darkness, from which I come,

I love you more than all the fires

that fence out the world,

for the fire makes a circle for everyone

so that no one sees you anymore.

But darkness holds it all:

the shape and the flame,

the animal and myself,

how it holds them,

all powers, all sight—

and it is possible: its great strength

is breaking into my body.

I have faith in the night.

Rilke

I am aware that the “new year” has already begun. The Chinese New Year begins on January 31st, and the astrological New Year truthfully begins on March 20th, when the Sun’s perceived stance in the sky aligns with the Aries Point. The Arguellian-inspired Galactic Moon Calendar begins at the end of July. So what?

As we continue to reflect upon regurgitated cycles of our depressed, unchanging lives of fortune, I offer a glimpse into the Gregorian “2014,” pinpointing how our journeys might trudge forward with no hope of breaking the formula. That, and the other thing where we like to pretend to make changes, improve our habits, and save the world from imminent annihilation. 

The much-discussed Pluto/Uranus square foretells a version of the Great Human Extinction, at least at the hands of the teenage fan fiction simulation being drawn up by the Adolescent Orchestrator known as “God.” Maybe in a few billion years little roach creatures will be studying our bones and dressing up in life-size people costumes, making blockbuster films that ask, “What killed the Humansaurs?”

In 2013, we loved, laughed, and cried, as most might surmise. Briefly glancing through time, it was the year that followed a major transcendental apocalypse, which, in case you blinked, actually happened. I had the fortune of spending the days before December 21st, 2012 with longtime friend and collaborator Daniel Pinchbeck, apocalypse enthusiast extraordinaire, and sailed my way to new dimensions under canopies of blessed, ancient Indian raga at the Body Actualized Center in Brooklyn. 

In 2012, according to legend, my world was destroyed at the mercy of an ongoing Kali Yuga, as I’d wedded and bedded a deific rival whose entrapments suffocated my self-worth to near death. The following year found myself picking up the crumbling pieces that had been left scattered across the globe, as an orphaned Osiris left to finish the resurrection ritual by himself.

2013 was the year of meditation and understanding, as more disasters were swept under the carpet under the influence of Saturn in Scorpio, and we were lied to, spit at, and betrayed, left to look at the shadows within for answers. 2013 asked me what truths were worth believing in, and which were not. Over the summer, we received blessings from several trines and “positive” aspects, albeit elusive, vague, undetermined, and underwhelming. 2013 was patient, allowing me a lethargic repose whilst I remembered who I am; adversely, this new year will be active, demanding, and merciless. 

There is too much, so let me sum up. 2014 brings fiery, tense, and alighted energy into our framework; fire is surely a theme, with the Pluto/Uranus square in full resonance, and cardinal—read: active, initiatory—rain pours into day-to-day in an unending storm. The potential for magical happenings is surreal and shameless—just the same, without focus or concentration, you will watch your life deconstruct around you in fractal shambles. I predict that most lives will play out as such, as we harvest the fate dolled upon us by centuries of bullish and ignorant behavior. No one should be surprised if we all start dying for whatever reason.

Adversely, we are conducting this illusionary symphony, and we can choose to grow up from the adolescence that we plague ourselves with, taking responsibility for our lives, and choices, and stop trying to blame/believe in a “higher power” calling the shots. Once we incorporate the beauty of ourselves as divine artists, shamans, and train conductors, then the healing of our world will be instantaneous. Tell your friends. 

One thing—it’s okay if everyone dies. I think we’ve pretty much covered that death, however mysterious, isn’t the end. Am I right, folks? Is this thing on?

The goal here might be to create the most beautiful piece of art that’s humanly possible. We want everybody watching from the meta-mezzanine to be blown away by the telling of our story. We want twists, turns, action, suspense, and dynamic characters. We want Prince Zuko to earn his transformation and find his light at the last minute, right before it’s too late. Because, duh, it’s much more interesting.

Relationships will be a major focus during 2014. Mars transits through Libra until May, and Venus through Capricorn until March—encouraging a reflection and repurposing of founded personal values—while the warrior planet aspects the cardinal square between Pluto and Uranus. Now is the time to place mega faith in lists, and creating a sacred relationship between what is thought and what is done. Because we’re about to see intensely manifest results.

Mercury begins one of three retrogrades on February 6th, and the earlier months of this year will prove to be incredibly important in creating new belief systems. In a way, it’s time to go full mutant—allow whatever brewing powers the chance to express themselves to fruition. Another exact square between Pluto and Uranus gears up in April, which will likely feel something like Professor X sending you out on your first mission—or Magneto, depending on with whom you ally.

Strap yourself in, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride, much like when Harry was picked up by that weird double decker bus in Prisoner of Azkaban. Take solace with nightly creatures that fool the common muggle and divulge in devilish trickery. Follow your foolish instincts. In a manner of speaking, “solemnly swear that you’re up to no good.” A strange and unexplainable hearth of protection lay next to the bed of mischief.

Maybe this is the year to shut up and finally listen to that inner voice. But, don’t take my word for it.

Oftentimes decisions, deeds, mindsets, general vibes, and crisscrossing relationships come with a fair element of waiting, and not yet attached to them. One could also call it faith but that’s not the direction we’re going in here.

Waiting is done when there is nothing else to do: you’ve sent in a manuscript for review, and wait for the letter approving or (more likely) rejecting your work; you’re waiting for the food you ordered forty minutes ago; you wait for Benedict Cumberbatch to emote his masculine sex appeal in the third season of Sherlock.

This thought process creates an avid amount of suspense that we, as humans, love to extrapolate into good story. We cherish failures because it makes for better material at the local watering hole. No one wants to hear about that time you won the lottery and bought a Porsche. No one.

As we’ve entered a season of hibernation, the instinct is to wait. There’s not much that can be done in the wintertime, simply because it’s cold outside, and warm inside, and the instinct is to stay warm, because, you know, otherwise you’ll die.

Waiting is an enormous part of the creative process—you’re still thinking, working, and breathing, and thought is what shapes the world. Thought is the seed, the fuel, and the fire. Continue to shape your end result, create what you’re crafting with your mind, even if the only physical extent to which you can progress toward your goal is to cuddle up with yourself and binge through episodes of Attack On Titan

This full moon in Gemini is mild, to say the least, especially in the context of all the noise we’ve been experiencing this year. My only real advice for the coming weeks is to stay warm, and stay focused with the projects you’ve committed to—let the friends who show up help you, but don’t force unwanted assistance.

Venus will be retrograding at the end of the month, and the foundations of your relationships will be put to the test—it’s a good time to relax and not try to force things to happen with your significant other(s). The month of January will be a great time to define what you value out of partnership—seriously, if you make one list this Christmas, make it for Venus; fuck Santa. Also, Sherlock.

Today, Uranus stations direct, which means it’s releasing the surge of internal chaos, calamity, and unforeseen truths that have been churning for the past five months. The difference between retrograde and direct is the difference between being inside and outside; you’re still present, awake, and alive for both, it’s simply a matter of where the intent is manifest.

Outward events, interactions, and new people met will likely emulate an air of disruptiveness in your life—though not necessarily in a bad way. Aries is also a sign of new beginnings, and depending on where Uranus falls in your houses, you could see some surprise flourishes in your garden. 

We’ll also be gearing up to an ever-so-almost exact square (though it will likely be counted as one) from Pluto and Uranus in April 2014, the first time they’ll both be direct together in their revolutionary dance. Results could be quite outwardly climactic, to the extent of seeing tense destruction culminate and manifest in our world, but we’ll have to wait and see, of course.

Editor’s note: Expect a full astrological report on Watson’s new mustache. Not really. Well okay, if you twist my arm.

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Comets are like cats; they have tails, and they do precisely what they want.

David H. Levy

These days, bathing one’s self in warm auras of divine radiance, transcendental love, and positive, positive, only positive energy—god forbid entertain the recessive thought—is more than commonplace, mainstream, and marketable. One might say we’re collectively heading towards a universal singularity that will transform our consciousness into pure love experience, while others will suggest that we’re looking to protect ourselves from unavoidable meaninglessness by pretending that “everything’s going to be okay,” and overcompensating for the lack of truth and understanding we feel toward the suffering of the planet.

I’m not going to pretend I know the answer, but I like to think it’s out there, waiting for us to wake up en masse and, you know, get what’s up, so we can finally start working together to make some serious jazz.

The comet ISON—so creatively named after the lab from which it came, the International Scientific Observational Network—is already making its rounds across the internet as some speculate it to shine brighter than the full moon, if at all.

The comet’s perceived survival around the sun was disputed, at first, until evidence proved it might still be somewhat intact. Traditionally, the appearance of a comet brought great transformation to civilization, signifying “God changing his mind.”

What, in your life, could possibly be changed? It’s one thing to dream, hope, and churn every squandering possibility, and quite another to locate the practical aspects of your life that may or may not be teetering on a precipice, waiting to be tipped off balance one way or another.

Comparatively, look at a forest of trees: one that is most uprooted likely falls during the next storm; out of a heard of wildebeest, the “little sick ones” will be the first to go; conversely, the healthier animals will be the first to mate; someone that has reached their whit’s end will be more aware of new and enticing opportunities. These are all examples of the obvious—particles of life that is simply asking for change. Whether that moves in the direction of life or death, joy or suffering, is of no consequence. 

We could still possibly see the comet with the naked eye, until mid-January. It stays in the constellation of Sagittarius for the remainder of its effecting phase.

The winged messenger has just emerged from a murky and emotional purge of karma along the constellation of Scorpio. He’ll remain here for a few more days as he moves through the last decante, trailing the Sun and emerging from the Underworld, and the last watery retrograde of the year, carrying a torch of achieved vision. Forgive yourself as mysterious and challenging aspects of your karmic path continue to reveal themselves.

Our fiery new moon is coupled with a few revelatory asteroids, the Muses Klio and Polyhymnia. Klio masters historical accounts and documentation, while Polyhymnia—literally, many hymns—governs sacred dance, song, poetry, and general artistic worship.

With this new moon, ask yourself how you want to make history, especially through the context of art, music, and dance. The comet, regardless of whether or not it can be seen, is showering our biosphere with electromagnetic rays of some kind, or shit like that. Historically, we are in the eye of a greater storm that will most likely not be fully understood for years to come.

Most importantly, we are tasked with envisioning the new world we want our children to inhabit. That world is what will be born into fruition. 

November 3rd, 2013

Last year, a full moon eclipse in Scorpio signified the last cycle before December 21st, 2012, the date Roland Emmerich predicted the world would end. Since then, many claim their worlds did not, in fact, end—speak for yourself—and continued to function, littered with the same viruses and glitches they’d had since choosing not to update their operating system.

I might implore you to check your pulse to see that you haven’t six sense’d yourself into believing in that reflection—or lack thereof. 

Scorpio tends to run rampant with the themes of life, death, and cyclical resurrection, often culminating in a traumatic mythological event where one is chopped into many pieces and scattered across the globe, only to be secretly reassembled by your beloved (+1 golden phallus).

Mercury has a week left in retrograde, digging up past threads from the cosmic databank. While big decisions are wisely shelved during retrogrades, you might serve yourself to “go with the flow,” and let the inner work guide you to radical realizations, unseen undercurrents, and fated personalities.

The winged messenger directly contacts the moon’s north node—point of destiny—in a likewise opposition to the south node. Meditate on the notion that you’re learning something (anything will do) and integrate inspired images, thoughts, and senses to theoretically ease your own passing. While visions may be cloudy, they still contain answers, and like any puzzle, have the potential to be solved.

The solar eclipse lightly touches our ringed Saturn, the master of manifestation. Here, delve into the discipline required to achieve your dreams. Be practical and outline resolutions that you feel would benefit your current walkabout. Incubate the new authority of you into the illusionary world, and watch the ripples swell with every step. 

Three days ago, Pluto and Uranus made their final square of 2013. Their dance brings unexpected fruition to intended transformations, if made wisely. You—yes, you—are the funnel for experiencing the intricacies of the universe. Focus daily, and responsibly, and watch creative choices burn into being. Maintain erraticism, and the universe will respond to any amount of dazed neurons. Being a creator isn’t all that bad.

This so-called cyclical life churns and burns the construct of our karma at no fault—there are rules in this here town, and more than one sheriff to keep our innovative toes in line.

Perhaps our planet has already burned to a crisp, and we live in a hologram fastened by Pleiadian—or Sirian—masters, parents of the human race, to give us an extension on our Ascension 101 midterm. With the world having already ended, now we face the choice to make choice, or not, or choose to not, or choose to not choose, and eventually make the responsible choice, whatever that is.

During this powerful eclipse, ask yourself, “What do I have the power to create?” and don’t expect an immediate response. Let the question percolate; Mercury should be moving forward before your clarity takes shape—one week away.

Take a step toward claiming empowerment, and embrace the Scorpionic mantra of dutiful transformation. Be the [insert name] you wish to see. Resurrect yourself with a golden phallus and become the Lord of the Underworld. I dare you.